Househubby Diaries

OK, I just started putting up that crazy window film that prevents the cold air from your windows from getting in your house. I hate doing this. As I stand there at the window with neighbors walking by, I wonder just how much energy I am saving by doing this. I mean I don't really feel a draft before I put up the film. Then as I stand there with my wife's hairdryer melting the film so it is taut, I think about that silver wheel that spins on your electric meter. I imagine it spinning really fast as I turn on that hairdryer. I think to myself... "self, is this really worth it?" I mean do we really save enough in gas over the course of a winter to make up for my time and electricity it takes to put saran wrap on my windows? Hmmmm.

I subbed today for 2nd Grade. While I was waiting for my students to come in from recess, I watched the P.M. Kindergartners walk into school. 10 minutes after they get to school, they go to lunch. Kindergartners go to lunch? When did that start? If your kid starts school at 12:10, why do they need to go to lunch? Anyway, 1:15, I line up my 2nd graders and walk down to the gymnasium for a safety assembly. As we walk in, I notice the same Kindergartners already sitting there waiting for the assembly. I start thinking to myself, If the Kindergartners got to school at 12:10, and headed to lunch at 12:20 then spent 20-30 minutes at lunch, then were at an assembly at 1:15, how do they ever get to learn anything? You follow me? So, we all get back to our rooms around 1:55 from the assembly, which gives us about 1 hour before school ends for classwork. Except, we had a fire drill at 2:15. I don't know how Kindergarten teachers (or any teacher for that matter) can get anything done sometimes.
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I don't know if it is a country thing, or an Ohio thing, but for whatever reason I seem to be seeing more and more yards with those lifesize concrete (I assume concrete is the material) deer lawn ornaments. I have come up with a basic safety and maintenance checklist for anyone who has these on their lawn.

1. keep them away from the road. I have slammed on my brakes on at least one occasion when I saw one of these statues near the road and thought it was real.

2. If its antlers, ears, or head breaks off, it is time for a new deer statue. Deer statues without heads don't look real.

3. If the paint is chipping off in large chunks, it is also time for a new deer statue or possibly a paint job. half painted, and half concrete colored deer statues are not very realistic.

and

4. For goodness sakes... mow under them. 10 inches of grass growing up underneath them is a dead giveaway for a deer statue.
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Dog the Bounty Hunter
Did you hear the tape his son made of him and sent to the National Enquirer? WOW! If you didn't hear, he made some very racists comments regarding the girl that his son was dating. And, he dropped the N word a few times. A&E Network have dropped him from their lineup for the time being. He has since apologized. My opinion.... if you don't like him don't watch. Which I bet a bunch of people will do if he ever comes back on TV. Which means I bet A&E ceases production of his show. Kind of like Don Imus did. Seriously, the guy is like a cartoon character. Huge mullet, feathers in his hair, holds hands and prays before he goes out to nab the bad guy, and then says (paraphrasing) "Let's get the MF'er!"
He was mildly entertaining, but I think Dog is gonna be euthanized (figuratively speaking). Vote in my poll please ----->

Aqua Dots
When these first were seen on our TV months ago, C1 said he wanted some. I thought to myself then... "those things cannot be safe". Not for the chemical make-up of the product, but the choking/ingestion possibility. Plus cleanup has got to be maddening. I wanted to tell C1 that they were bad, but deciding that explaining the date rape drug would be overkill, I told them they were found to be poisonous. He has been telling people that aqua dots are poison ivy.

Cow falls on Car
In Washington state, a 600 pound cow fell 200 feet from a cliff onto a hood of a minivan. Police chief says the couple inside were inches away from being killed. The couple were from Westland, Michigan celebrating their 1 year anniversary. The driver kept saying "I don't believe this, I don't believe this!" The cows owner says the heifer had been reported missing.

OK, some jokes I came up with:
It must have been raining cows and dogs.
Got milk?
I thought the traditional first year anniversary gift was paper, not beef.
or I heard they were issued a traffic ticket for a Moooving violation.... ba-da-bum!
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Halloween has come and gone. T handed out candy and I took the boys... I mean the caterpillar and Spiderman out trick-or-treating in our little red wagon. We came back and helped T hand out the rest of the candy and said hi to many kids. Sounds good huh? Why I am a bad Dad? No pictures! I know. It has been bothering me for a week now. And to top it off, I had to send C1 to his room mad today for hitting and whining and carrying on and he said to me, "You ruined my life dad!" The kid is 4! First no halloween pictures, then the realization that I singlehandedly in one afternoon ruined this preschoolers life.
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